Another open letter to the DHS.............

Dear Powers that Be,

First and foremost, I am a single father with two growing boys. Have been for 14 years now.
Recently, in your infinite wisdom, you decided that I was to be forced back onto a health policy that I could not afford, even after providing you with the numbers. Fortunately, my Human Resources person was able to reaffirm my position (even after you rudely chided him for allowing me to drop said policy). But, I didn't get off that easily. I still had to provide/pay for a policy for my 17 year old son, even though he had been on Medicaid for nearly 3 years. Fine. Whatever.

Onto the subject at hand:Food Assistance.

After the prompting of a friend, I decided to "break down" and apply for help feeding my children.
Now, let me just say that I don't live outside of my means...........at least on purpose. By that I mean, sometimes I have no choice but to play "race the check" when paying for utilities, car payment, or something my boys would need, like clothes.
I don't have cable, I'm on a friends phone plan at a HUGE saving, and I'm on the lowest tier of internet only so I can enjoy NetFlix and my boys have something to do when things get slow here.

When I first signed up for the food assistance program, or EBT as you like to refer to it (it does sound better than FAP),I was granted $235/month. This allowed me to keep up on my normal bills while providing meals for my kids. Cool.

Then, my oldest boy turned 18 which in your mind meant that he was able to help provide food for my house, (something that he wasn't required by his mother to do at her house). Seriously? An 18 year old college boy working part time was to put aside his gas money so he could eat at his father's house? This dropped my amount to $60/month.
Brilliant.

Fast forward 11 months. I still have a child under 18, and now my amount has been adjusted to a mere $15/week? That doesn't even equate to a real weekly number! It comes out to $3.461538461538462 .........at this point I must call "bovine feces"......

Why even dole out this paltry amount? I have a friend with a family of five.........FIVE and his amount is $12/week?!

I don't know what system of numbers you are using, but there is a flaw somewhere. Or maybe it's in your attitude.
I can't help but think that if I was a single mother with a revolving uterus I'd be living high on the hog, eating like a queen!
But since I'm a single guy just trying to get by while providing for my kids, and not a single mom living off assistance, I get to enjoy an aerial intercourse by "the system".

So keep your three bucks a week, and I'll just have to go back to macaroni and melted orange crayons.........and the boys will just have to like it...........

But in closing, I'd just like to say, intercourse you, intercourse you, and of course, intercourse you.

Sincerely,
Yet another male statistic

an open letter to the IA DHS........

Dear women............

I say women, because after suffering what I have there's no way any men work there.
If they did, I, as a fellow member of the male race, wouldn't be allowed to experience the travesties put upon me.

You claim to have the "best interest of children", when in fact you don't really give a damn because if you did, single fathers like myself would be allowed to assist in the raising of our children as well as provide for them as we see fit.
But instead, you take the mothers side and gouge us for every penny we have all in the name of "what's best for the child".

So tell me, oh great and powerful ones, why is it that your "sisters" are granted the power to do as they will, which often times will be to use our court ordered amounts to pay for exotic trips, high end clothes and jewelry, and all the primping and pampering they wish? NOT, for the children of course, but for themselves all the while providing our children with the bare minimum including step siblings hand-me-downs.

I submit to you, that the letters D. H. and S. do NOT stand for the Department of Human Services, but rather the De-Humanizing of Sons.

I am about to be thrust into a monetary situation that could very well jeopardize my ability to maintain a home situation for my children, a home they have enjoyed since they were born.

When I told you that the insurance being provided through my employer was going to increase outrageously, I meant it.

Since my young son was still covered under a state provided policy, one that not only did you switch him to, but my low income qualified him for, I was able to obtain a policy for my other son and self at half what it would cost through my employer.

However, for what ever reason, you have deemed that that is not good enough and are forcing me back onto my employer's insurance policy, one which I told you i could not afford. But that doesn't matter now does it.
It doesn't matter that paying child support along with this obscenely high health insurance, will leave me about $60 weekly to attempt to live on, and provide food for my children when they are allowed to visit.

And here's the rub:my younger son turns 18 in 11 months, and graduates in 18 months. Even though my court decree says that support shall end (to my ex....i won't stop supporting them. i'll just know where my money goes), when he turns 18 OR graduates.....you've already told me you'll be going by turning 18 AND graduating high school.

Now, why is it, mothers can do all sorts of heinous things like, running off, but then coming back years later, or, leaving an infant child in a locked car during the coldest day of the year while hanging out in a bar, or even doing heroin while their child sleeps in the next room......all of this and yet they are STILL allowed to keep their children, not work and live off government programs sucking the American public dry, but when a single father tries to provide for his children AND keep a roof over their head and food on the table he gets punished........

I don't live a posh existence.
I don't hang out in bars, or go shopping for personal trinkets, or even buy myself clothes more than once a year.

All I try to do is keep a roof over our head, food on our table, and provide whatever they need.

All you do, DHS, is create turmoil where there should be none.

You obviously have no clue what is best for our children..........

And The "Comeback of The Year" Award Goes To...............

.......my 16 year old son, G.

G has been a cross country runner since middle school, but running his Junior year of High School almost didn't happen.


On March 4 of 2013 around 9:00p.m., the car he was riding hit an icy patch of road, slid sideways and was t-boned by an oncoming mini-van. G took the brunt of the impact breaking both femurs (one of which protruded through his thigh), resulting a concussion, and causing many other bumps and bruises.
He was in the O.R. for 3-4 hours being put back together using titanium rods inserted into his broken bones, using 46 surgical staples to close everything up.


He then spent the next 36 hours in the ICU on a ventilator and wearing a neck brace as a precaution. In the 37nth hour he regained
consciousness, slightly.


On March 8 in the morning, he was moved out of the ICU and into a regular hospital room and by the end of the day, the nurses helped him to not only stand, but take a couple of labored steps.


March 11 would be the day G would be released, and on the 29th all 46 staples would be removed.


With the use of a walker, April 3 was G's first day back to school, much to the delight of students and faculty alike, and the relief of family members.


Something to note:one of the First Responders to the accident happened to be his Cross-Country coach.


During his many visits back to the doctors for check-ups, G was told he could probably participate in the 2013 XC season, but not to expect much, but to just "take things slow" and not get frustrated by what would more than likely be a "non-record setting season".
His first day back, G told his coach (who was more than pleased to see this student/runner walking again) that he was indeed going to participate in this year's season. Which he did.


The school year ended, and during that following summer, G did in fact get some practicing in, putting in a few miles here and there, and was able to get some sprinting in, and when the 2013-2014 school year started, G did start the XC practices with the rest of the team. But these practices were more intense than what he'd been "putting himself through", and with the help of the coaches input, G decided that he was not going to run for a few meets, but continuing to practice in the hopes of joining the rest of his team at an XC meet.

And that day did come.

September 14, 2013, G ran his first meet at the North Fayette Valley Invite.
His times weren't stellar by XC standards, but in all actuality, just the fact that this boy was actually RUNNING six months after suffering two broken legs was in my opinion incredible.


Three days later, the Osage Invite would see G again running, and his time was consistent with his time at the prior meet (21:39), however his "1 mile" time had increased by 16 seconds.


Six days later, we traveled to the Nashua-Plainfield Invite where G's "1 mile" time increased another 31 seconds (47 seconds faster than his first meet), and would again see another consistent overall run.


The next 3 meets would be pretty consistent and at all meets his overall placing was impressive, always finishing in the first half of the pack.


October 17 was the North Iowa Conference and this year it was being held here in Osage.
Seven months after being involved in a pretty bad car accident, G would finish 23rd and close out the 2013-2014 XC season a mere 3 seconds over his personal best from the previous season.


All in all, he is pleased (as are the rest of us) with his performance this season.
Taking things slow, not (overly) pushing himself, G was able to come back from something that should have stopped him.
In this case, telling him he can't do something ("won't be setting any records"), but then him doing it anyway, is a good thing.


It's a great thing.

a single fathers musings.....

This will probably be a mass of jumbled thoughts, but it serves a purpose:to keep one's sanity in check. As my boys get older, I look back on the past 13 years and can't help but wonder if I've made the right choices. Ultimately, they are healthy, make (semi) good choices, and are all around decent kids. The issue is not with them, but with their Father, the one that's remained single in the name of being 100% readily available in a moments notice. In my mind, it's been the right thing to do as their step-father was so much older than their mother that he was living in a different era. His way of thinking didn't match anyone that had become a parent in the 90's, and it was a strain on my kids. I suppose one can't blame him. I mean, in his day people "walked 10 miles to school.........up hill.........both ways", but for their mother, my ex-wife, to just "hand him the keys" to my boys was intolerable on many instances. So why would I want to introduce a fourth parent to the mix? Not to mention adding someone new for my ex-wife to stress out on a fairly frequent schedule. It was more than enough for me to try and keep up with, and (I'd assumed) working on a relationship with someone would have that added bonus of "is she for real?" on a daily basis. It was my choice to stay in the town I'd moved to after (my now ex-wife) became pregnant. Sure, I had an opportunity to move, but when I was THIS CLOSE to leaving, I get a call saying she was moving back with the boys and "grandpa" in tow. Shit That was 10 years ago now. I'd decided to give up what I was going to pursue in the name of being here for my kids. Any good dad would do the same. I'm more than just a donor. I do my best, what I can with what I'm given, and no less. But now that the kids are 16, and 18 and graduated, things are changing and I'm not ready for it. I hadn't prepared myself for the "alone time". I'd chosen to not socialize here, because basically, it's not "my town". It's small here. Only about 15% of the population of where I moved from nearly 17 years ago. There's literally nothing to do here except drink and shag someone elses spouse. And sometimes that seems like a sporting event. I work here, sleep here, (sort of) eat here and am Dad here. That's it. "Why don't you just go to another town?". Glad you asked. Like everything else these days, it's all about money. Or in my case, lack of it. I earn just enough to make my house payment, utilities, gas, and some food. I'm embarrassed to admit my folks help me. I'm freaking 44 years old and have to get monetary support from my folks, and it's been that way for 13 years. Something else that's a factor is the fact that I feel like the way I did 15 years ago. In that I mean that it's like I haven't grown as a person. I'm still that immature 30 year old and what woman my age would want to date that?! I fear the fact of my future is this: I'm going to be that guy that lives by himself and yells at squirrels...........

What do HF345 and Mennonites share in common............

At present, both have elements surrounding them that are PISSING ME RIGHT THE HELL OFF!

Let's begin with the latter of the two:Mennonites.
Today, an Iowa Supreme Court ruled in favor of a group of Mennonites in a "steel wheel" case citing the ordinance violated a Mennonite’s religious rights under federal law.

The county had the ordinance in place due to the fact that the steel wheels used on Mennonites horse drawn buggies were causing damage to paved roads in the area.

This case has been going around and around for the past five years or so, and every time I would hear "our religious beliefs are under attack", all I could think of was "GET THE F*CK OVER IT"
I am sick to DEATH over hearing religious communities hiding behind "religious beliefs" when something like "um, just wanted you to know that your steel wheels are damaging stated funded roads and the repair work is getting a little costly for us 'rubber-tired' folks" happens. This usually results in a response by some "panel of elders" saying "WE'VE BEEN USING STEEL WHEELS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS SINCE OUR FOUNDING FATHERS BEGAN USING THEM AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO GO AGAINST THEIR WILL" blah blah blah.

COME ONE BLACK BEARD! That's great that you all worship Abe Lincoln but the times they are a changin'! We now have this compound that we use for tires that does less damage and while it's nice to have religious beliefs DON'T F*CKING HIDE BEHIND HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF THINKING WHEN THE DOT GIVES YOU A CITATION............

Now, while I'm sure there are more specifics surrounding this story, my bottom line is this, if you continue to hide behind "religious beliefs", and I do mean HIDE, then I will have to follow MY religious belief that anyone MY deity has deemed of inferior intellect shall receive, by me, a swift kick in the arse, and there is nothing you can do because my religious belief is protected under the first amendment..................f*cker.

As for HF345, which is an Iowa House Floor bill that is intended upon awarding fathers' shared placement when it comes to divorce with children.
The part that is really getting to me is the opinions of a certain 79 year old legislature on this bill.

He is completely against it stating that "Men of IowaFathers (a FaceBook group) just don't want to pay their child support." and "he does not have enough information to make a decision about the HF345 Bill", even though his office has been inundated with case study upon case study over the past several YEARS on this matter.

But on the flip side, he recently introduced a bill legalizing medical Marijuana because he thinks "introducing a bill will force a conversation and help lawmakers come to consensus on the controversial topic" while he sits on the bill that is BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN.

So, basically this old f*cker is on a personal mission, apparently having trouble with his glaucoma and wants to get some legal weed and is past the time when HF 345 would do him any good.

COME ON!

There is another Iowa legislator who also is Family Law attorney, divorcee' that has primary physical placement and is a child support recipient. She also additionally filed to have her child support increased.

Once again, I call "FOUL" in that it would appear that she is against this bill for personal reasons and doesn't give a SH*T about what's bests for children.

I sincerely weep for our future as a society

Movie reboots.............are filmmakers getting lazy?

I consider myself somewhat of a movie buff.
I've watched all sorts of different genre from silent movies all the way up to Twilight (what can i say, it was a date thing).

And from the big screen to television I've become to equate certain characters with the actors/actresses that have portrayed them.
Charlton Heston will forever remain in my memory as Moses just as whenever I imagine 'that guy in the red cape and blue tights, Christopher Reeve will ALWAYS be Superman.

But in the last few years or so, a lazy trend is taking place that wants to take our most sacred memories and replace them with new faces. It's called the franchise reboot.

When he first made the jump from comic book form to the big screen, The Punisher was brought to life by Dolph Lundgren in 1989. It was a decent enough film, recounting how Frank Castle, a police officer who watches his wife and child murdered, then shot and left for dead himself, becomes the stone-cold vigilante we all have come to know and love.
But then in 2004 along comes Thomas Jane in a retelling of that story.
Again, not a bad flick, but when Punisher:War Zone is released in 2008, an actor by the name of Ray Stevenson is cast to portray Frank Castle/The Punisher.

I never saw this movie, and after seeing the previews, I had no desire to.
Only one other time did a franchise change the main actor to portray a single character and I watched with an open mind each time. That's only because I am a HUGE Batman fan and in each incarnation of Bruce Wayne/Batman, I accepted a different leading man in that role.

But fast forward to 2012.
This year promises to reboot Superman, Spiderman and even Jason Bourne. And to make matters worse, there are talks of remaking The Evil Dead, RoboCop, Dirty Dancing, and even Great Expectations.

Each of these movies hold certain memories for each of us but the biggest memory is the actor/actress that portrayed the main character.

It's easy to associate characters with faces, but filmmakers have become lazy in coming up with new stories that the trend seems to be retelling of old ones and THIS movie goer doesn't want all of those memories replaced with someone else's face.

Dear Microsoft:are ya kiddin' me?!

On a whim, I decided to check out Netflix on my XBox 360.
A friend of mine uses her Wii for Netflix, and loves it.

So I click the Netflix tab on the XBox dashboard, all ready to see what movies I can watch and wouldn't ya know it:not only do you have to pay the fee for Netflix, (which is to be expected), but you also have to be a Gold member on XBox Live.

Seriously?
Nintendo doesn't charge a membership fee on their Wii and to my knowledge, neither does Sony on the PS3.

Apparently Mr. Gates doesn't have enough money yet to build his elevator to the moon with subsequent moonbase (both of which are made up by me to prove a point), so if one wants to watch Netflix, OR Hulu, one must become a Gold Member. (every time i hear "gold member", I want to bust out in song).

It's like having to pay a utility fee on garbage in addition to paying $1.35 for a little sticker to put on each bag of trash you put out.....................

double you tee eff people...............double you tee eff..............