a single fathers musings.....

This will probably be a mass of jumbled thoughts, but it serves a purpose:to keep one's sanity in check. As my boys get older, I look back on the past 13 years and can't help but wonder if I've made the right choices. Ultimately, they are healthy, make (semi) good choices, and are all around decent kids. The issue is not with them, but with their Father, the one that's remained single in the name of being 100% readily available in a moments notice. In my mind, it's been the right thing to do as their step-father was so much older than their mother that he was living in a different era. His way of thinking didn't match anyone that had become a parent in the 90's, and it was a strain on my kids. I suppose one can't blame him. I mean, in his day people "walked 10 miles to school.........up hill.........both ways", but for their mother, my ex-wife, to just "hand him the keys" to my boys was intolerable on many instances. So why would I want to introduce a fourth parent to the mix? Not to mention adding someone new for my ex-wife to stress out on a fairly frequent schedule. It was more than enough for me to try and keep up with, and (I'd assumed) working on a relationship with someone would have that added bonus of "is she for real?" on a daily basis. It was my choice to stay in the town I'd moved to after (my now ex-wife) became pregnant. Sure, I had an opportunity to move, but when I was THIS CLOSE to leaving, I get a call saying she was moving back with the boys and "grandpa" in tow. Shit That was 10 years ago now. I'd decided to give up what I was going to pursue in the name of being here for my kids. Any good dad would do the same. I'm more than just a donor. I do my best, what I can with what I'm given, and no less. But now that the kids are 16, and 18 and graduated, things are changing and I'm not ready for it. I hadn't prepared myself for the "alone time". I'd chosen to not socialize here, because basically, it's not "my town". It's small here. Only about 15% of the population of where I moved from nearly 17 years ago. There's literally nothing to do here except drink and shag someone elses spouse. And sometimes that seems like a sporting event. I work here, sleep here, (sort of) eat here and am Dad here. That's it. "Why don't you just go to another town?". Glad you asked. Like everything else these days, it's all about money. Or in my case, lack of it. I earn just enough to make my house payment, utilities, gas, and some food. I'm embarrassed to admit my folks help me. I'm freaking 44 years old and have to get monetary support from my folks, and it's been that way for 13 years. Something else that's a factor is the fact that I feel like the way I did 15 years ago. In that I mean that it's like I haven't grown as a person. I'm still that immature 30 year old and what woman my age would want to date that?! I fear the fact of my future is this: I'm going to be that guy that lives by himself and yells at squirrels...........

What do HF345 and Mennonites share in common............

At present, both have elements surrounding them that are PISSING ME RIGHT THE HELL OFF!

Let's begin with the latter of the two:Mennonites.
Today, an Iowa Supreme Court ruled in favor of a group of Mennonites in a "steel wheel" case citing the ordinance violated a Mennonite’s religious rights under federal law.

The county had the ordinance in place due to the fact that the steel wheels used on Mennonites horse drawn buggies were causing damage to paved roads in the area.

This case has been going around and around for the past five years or so, and every time I would hear "our religious beliefs are under attack", all I could think of was "GET THE F*CK OVER IT"
I am sick to DEATH over hearing religious communities hiding behind "religious beliefs" when something like "um, just wanted you to know that your steel wheels are damaging stated funded roads and the repair work is getting a little costly for us 'rubber-tired' folks" happens. This usually results in a response by some "panel of elders" saying "WE'VE BEEN USING STEEL WHEELS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS SINCE OUR FOUNDING FATHERS BEGAN USING THEM AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO GO AGAINST THEIR WILL" blah blah blah.

COME ONE BLACK BEARD! That's great that you all worship Abe Lincoln but the times they are a changin'! We now have this compound that we use for tires that does less damage and while it's nice to have religious beliefs DON'T F*CKING HIDE BEHIND HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF THINKING WHEN THE DOT GIVES YOU A CITATION............

Now, while I'm sure there are more specifics surrounding this story, my bottom line is this, if you continue to hide behind "religious beliefs", and I do mean HIDE, then I will have to follow MY religious belief that anyone MY deity has deemed of inferior intellect shall receive, by me, a swift kick in the arse, and there is nothing you can do because my religious belief is protected under the first amendment..................f*cker.

As for HF345, which is an Iowa House Floor bill that is intended upon awarding fathers' shared placement when it comes to divorce with children.
The part that is really getting to me is the opinions of a certain 79 year old legislature on this bill.

He is completely against it stating that "Men of IowaFathers (a FaceBook group) just don't want to pay their child support." and "he does not have enough information to make a decision about the HF345 Bill", even though his office has been inundated with case study upon case study over the past several YEARS on this matter.

But on the flip side, he recently introduced a bill legalizing medical Marijuana because he thinks "introducing a bill will force a conversation and help lawmakers come to consensus on the controversial topic" while he sits on the bill that is BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN.

So, basically this old f*cker is on a personal mission, apparently having trouble with his glaucoma and wants to get some legal weed and is past the time when HF 345 would do him any good.

COME ON!

There is another Iowa legislator who also is Family Law attorney, divorcee' that has primary physical placement and is a child support recipient. She also additionally filed to have her child support increased.

Once again, I call "FOUL" in that it would appear that she is against this bill for personal reasons and doesn't give a SH*T about what's bests for children.

I sincerely weep for our future as a society

Movie reboots.............are filmmakers getting lazy?

I consider myself somewhat of a movie buff.
I've watched all sorts of different genre from silent movies all the way up to Twilight (what can i say, it was a date thing).

And from the big screen to television I've become to equate certain characters with the actors/actresses that have portrayed them.
Charlton Heston will forever remain in my memory as Moses just as whenever I imagine 'that guy in the red cape and blue tights, Christopher Reeve will ALWAYS be Superman.

But in the last few years or so, a lazy trend is taking place that wants to take our most sacred memories and replace them with new faces. It's called the franchise reboot.

When he first made the jump from comic book form to the big screen, The Punisher was brought to life by Dolph Lundgren in 1989. It was a decent enough film, recounting how Frank Castle, a police officer who watches his wife and child murdered, then shot and left for dead himself, becomes the stone-cold vigilante we all have come to know and love.
But then in 2004 along comes Thomas Jane in a retelling of that story.
Again, not a bad flick, but when Punisher:War Zone is released in 2008, an actor by the name of Ray Stevenson is cast to portray Frank Castle/The Punisher.

I never saw this movie, and after seeing the previews, I had no desire to.
Only one other time did a franchise change the main actor to portray a single character and I watched with an open mind each time. That's only because I am a HUGE Batman fan and in each incarnation of Bruce Wayne/Batman, I accepted a different leading man in that role.

But fast forward to 2012.
This year promises to reboot Superman, Spiderman and even Jason Bourne. And to make matters worse, there are talks of remaking The Evil Dead, RoboCop, Dirty Dancing, and even Great Expectations.

Each of these movies hold certain memories for each of us but the biggest memory is the actor/actress that portrayed the main character.

It's easy to associate characters with faces, but filmmakers have become lazy in coming up with new stories that the trend seems to be retelling of old ones and THIS movie goer doesn't want all of those memories replaced with someone else's face.

Dear Microsoft:are ya kiddin' me?!

On a whim, I decided to check out Netflix on my XBox 360.
A friend of mine uses her Wii for Netflix, and loves it.

So I click the Netflix tab on the XBox dashboard, all ready to see what movies I can watch and wouldn't ya know it:not only do you have to pay the fee for Netflix, (which is to be expected), but you also have to be a Gold member on XBox Live.

Seriously?
Nintendo doesn't charge a membership fee on their Wii and to my knowledge, neither does Sony on the PS3.

Apparently Mr. Gates doesn't have enough money yet to build his elevator to the moon with subsequent moonbase (both of which are made up by me to prove a point), so if one wants to watch Netflix, OR Hulu, one must become a Gold Member. (every time i hear "gold member", I want to bust out in song).

It's like having to pay a utility fee on garbage in addition to paying $1.35 for a little sticker to put on each bag of trash you put out.....................

double you tee eff people...............double you tee eff..............

Science vs. Religion (or) Let's Piss off a Lot of People

I just got done watching a show on the Discovery Channel called "Curiosity".
This episode was narrated by Stephen Hawking and delved into the topic "Did God Create the Universe".

Now, I myself am NOT a smart person, if compared to Mr. Hawking. However, I like to think that I am an open-minded person.
In the same breath, I am not a religious person.

Overall, his explanation is that before the time of the Big Bang, there was no 'time', hence no time for God to even exist, hence the Universe created itself.

Now, he also used an example of making a cup of coffee.
While, various masses go into the making a cup of coffee, if you can travel to the micro MICRO universe, there are "pops" of creation from basically nothing.

This interested me, and I found that I 'got' this idea right away.
To us, a "pop", like that of a balloon, is instantaneous because of the scale of existence we are to this particular "pop".

Now, concerning the fact that the Big Bang is basically a "pop" of creationism, if you take into account the scale of the universe compared to the Big Bang, it can be viewed as a "pop" that is on a continuing path.
(not bad for a high school drop out, eh?).

Using more quotes from this episode, consider the Vikings. The Nordic. Not the Minnesotan.

Back in their time, they viewed a solar eclipse the work of a Wolf God. A belief.
Later in time, a solar eclipse was explained using science, resulting in fact.

If we look back into the role of the church, at one point, any word against that of the church was viewed as heresy. Even though science was afoot, and proving theories, it was "illegal" to think this way. Meaning, if you thought God was in control of the universe, more than likely you wouldn't be stoned to death.

All I can think about is a statement made by Stephen Hawking:science does not dismiss religion, but rather offer factual explanations.

To me, science is based on fact while religion is based on stories.
Science takes "stories", and searches for the facts to support said stories.
Religion takes "stories" that were based on facts and creates beliefs that support the will of man.

Now, like science, I don't dismiss religion.
But if you look throughout history, how often has religion dismissed science?

I think there may be another episode down the line on that.
I believe that

Why no, I'm not gay. But thanks for asking.

This seems to be a reoccurring question from my 'friends', simply because I have chosen not to date in quite some time.

I moved to a small town (population around 3000), when my then girlfriend, whom I'd been dating for 2 years became pregnant.
Fast forward 7 years. After our second child and deciding to get married, things started to decline.

Now it's ten years later.

In the beginning, I did date a few different women from my old city (30 miles away), dabbled with online dating, but have pretty much kept to myself.

This town offers me nothing other than a job and the close proximity to my boys.
Socially, I have no interest mainly because of feeling like an outsider ever since the divorce.

That's the problem with marrying into a small community like this. When thing go south, if you don't get out right away, you're pretty much f*cked.

"Last Airbender"

After a much anticipated wait since seeing the first previews, I took my boys to see M. Night Shymalan's vision of "The Last Airbender", which is based on the Nickelodeon series.

From the first images, we were all excited to see this animated story come to life.
I for one, enjoyed the cartoon not only because it was animated (ok, so I dig cartoons), but it had an Asian feel with Hindu prophecies to it, something not really seen since the Dragonball series).

The movie in of itself was pretty good. It started out kinda loose as far as the acting and dialog, but once things got rolling, it kept going until the very end.
The special effects were very good. If this movie had been done either 10 years ago, or on a smaller budget, the elements being "bent" would have looked more cartoony. But give props where props are due, it wasn't hard to believe that you were watching people actually manipulate fire, water, the earth (dirt/rocks), and even air. (even though "air" looked like it had a little help from a big fan positioned off camera).

The only complaint the three of us shared, seemingly minor, was the changing of the pronunciation of the names of the main characters.
(taken from an interview with Shymalan):
“Aang” is not [like Tang] but “Aang” [like Tong.] Also, it isn’t “Avatar” like aaah, it is “Avatar” like “Of-Atar.” The other changes: “Sokka” [pronounced Sock-Ka] is pronounced “Soh-ka” (“soh” as in “sew”) and Iroh, Uncle Iroh, isn’t “Eye-Row” but “Eer-Row.”

Of course, when we got home, after a long discussion with my kids about the "reasoning for changing the pronunciations", I had to Google it.
M. Night explains "Because this show, this film, is inspired by these cultures. And most directors wouldn’t care, but this is something I’ve been living with my whole life, this is really important to me. But not just the names, the calligraphy, the drapery, the machinery, this all creates a world that is specific and personal and resonant.”
Yea, not much of an explanation.

But, overall, it's a really good movie. Go see it.

My Russian Bride

Well, once again, I find myself the 'target' on what appears to be a scam.

For maybe the fourth time in the past several years, I received an email from a young woman overseas that supposedly saw my profile on a dating site, and "just had to write!".

Sure, the emails start out innocently enough, telling me all about "themselves".
How they grew up in a small village, one or both or there parents were killed somehow, or they can't find " a real boyfriend in their country.
Then they decide to somehow pack up and move to the U.S. so "we can be together".
oy
Of course, after several emails leading up to the one about "I've gained my passport/travel papers and am coming to you!", comes the email we all expect.
"I am short (x-amount of money) to complete the trip. I've come too close to give up now and if you care about me you will help me".
again......oy

But this latest "potential mate" is bolder/better than the rest. They actually included a wave file of their voice and...........wait for it............A PASSPORT!
I mean, how bold of a move!

Now sure, I'm a lonely guy, and love the idea of a beautiful young woman, having seen my online dating profile, to fall in love and jump the pond to be with me and only me. But luckily, I'm more of a realist than these people are used to.
And sure it's fun to play along for a bit, but DAMN something should be done about this kind of scam.

A passport....really? Kinda scary what length people will go to for money.......

i'd LOVE to hear President Obama's thoughts on this......

so, there's a statement circulating on Facebook about the situation in Haiti.
it goes as follows:
"JUST FOR AMERICA: Shame on you America: the only country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed without eating, elderly going without needed meds, and mentally ill without treatment - yet we have a benefit for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations. 99% of people won't have the guts to copy and repost this"

I'm going to have to agree.
Too long has the U.S. come to the aid of others all the while overlooking the plights on our own soil.

Now, I understand the reasoning behind some of our assistance;usually we have some sort of stake in the country we are assisting. But Haiti? What does this country offer but voodoo dolls and easily adoptive babies? (yea, I'll probably go to Hell for that, but freedom of speech baby!).

The U.S. has joblessness, homelessness, schools closing, lack of funding, education problems, single dad's being f*cked over (yea, that one was for me), and what does the Government do to adress ANY of those issues?

Do we have six different broadcasting networks holding benefits to raise money to solve ANY of this?

I'm hoping that by putting the presidents' name in the title of my blog, some watchdog somewhere will pick this up and at LEAST offer up some sort of explanation as to why we help everyone else BUT our own.

join me in a belated birthday

I feel kinda bad, because last Saturday the 3rd would have been Stevie Ray Vaughn's 55th birthday.
I was all ready to make a posting on that date, but circumstances beyond my control prevented that.

need some input here people................

What does it mean when a girl say's she likes you and wants to get to know you, but after a while, when you admit you kinda like her, she decides to stop hanging out because she "knows how you feel about her", but will still talk/text outside of work and sit with you on break?

I know what it means, just want to hear someone else say it.

need some input here people................

What does it mean when a girl say's she likes you and wants to get to know you, but after a while, when you admit you kinda like her, she decides to stop hanging out because she "knows how you feel about her", but will still talk/text outside of work and sit with you on break?

I know what it means, just want to hear someone else say it.

deposit, but no return?

So I tried to get the refund on a 12 pack of the new WOW Dew cans. Of course, the machine wouldn't scan them. When asked, the clerk said "those are too new. they aren't in the system yet". Funny, i got CHARGED on the deposit when i BOUGHT the fukkin things!!!

i shoulda known better............................

When a child asks you something, do NOT tell them to just google it....................
As they get older, they no longer ask, but just google it, and you have to find out about it when going through the history............oy

Please, President Obama..........................

..........authorize an air strike on Rush Limbaugh

Updates, stuff, and a bombshell

As reported a few months ago, there was a possibility that my ex-wife and husband would be losing their home.
As of today, it seems that with the help of President Obama's influence of money loaners being more helpful to those that wish to stay in their homes rather than lose them to a Sheriff's auction, will do so.
Thus, they now have until mid August to get the home refinanced.

In other personal news, my older son has turned 14 and is ready for his learners permit! (silent shrill begins).
This weekend, I'll take him out in the car and put him behind the wheel for a little practice.
I HOPE that with all of his video game expertise, his hand-eye coordination will be a great asset.

My mom's Explorer got repaired, and not only does it look and drive like new, but out body man was able to get the total several hundred dollars UNDER what they received from the insurance company.
Ford parts were used, and parts that could be repaired were.
It helps that we've known this 'wonder of body work' since the 70's and has always worked with us on the repairs we've needed.
SHOUT-OUT BART!

Now, onto the bombshell. (stop salivating)

Two days ago, after months, nay years of inner debate, talking w/friends, and actually finding her, I contacted my now 19 year old daughter I'd signed off parental rights some 14 years ago.

Having a Facebook profile myself, on a whim I typed in her name and up came a list of possibilities, there was a pic of a young woman that resembled what I'd known her mother to look like.

I prepared a letter/message/note informing her of who I was, where I lived (in case she thought this could be some perv, she could actually verify my identity), and if she had ever had an interest in getting to know her birth father, my door was open.
I sent it off not expecting any type of response, but to my surprise the next day she'd added me as a 'friend' to her profile.

You can't even imagine how I felt, continue to feel. However, I've not re-contacted her and will not. Her first step was opening up her profile to my viewing, and also gaining access to mine. She has not written yet, but until she does, my initial message is all I will have offered.

I realized being contacted by her biological father would be a lot to process, but did now expect for her to 'open up' as quickly as she did.

The next few hours, days, months, or even years have no hints as to what to expect, but if this is all that happens, it would be enough having been given a glimpse into her life.

why do we really have insurance companies?

A few weeks ago, my parents were involved in a car accident.
A car driven by a 17 year old ran a yield sign, hitting the front passenger side of my mom's Explorer. No one was hurt, except for her truck which received extensive damage.

Turns out, the car had no insurance on it. The kids father commented that he had not put any on it because he "didn't think (kid) would have a second accident within six months". oy
SO, my folks' insurance company would issue a check, and THEN go after the father of the delinquent driver.

Both the bodyman and field agent commented that her truck was worth repairing.
But when it came to the 'guy that writes the check', he decided that Mom's truck will be totalled, and a check for substantially less would be issued to her.

Now, my Dad pays for an 'uninsured driver' policy, and the truck's value is more than the cost of repair, but going against the field agents recommendation, the company decides to total her truck, issuing a check that wouldn't even come close to replacing her ride.

So, can someone tell me why we even pay companies to protect our investments, such as vehicles, and when someone ELSE damages it, decide to go easy on the 'inflicter', and penalize the victim?

Ever know something you wish you didn't?

About a week ago,it was brought to my attention (by a co-worker of all people), that my ex-wife and husband will be losing their home to a Sheriff's auction.

It seems that they are way behind in not only property taxes, but mortgage payments as well.

As I said, I've known about this for a little over a week, and this weekend I had my boys. I can't tell you how hard it is knowing that they will be losing their home and not being able to say a word to them about it. btw:they don't know yet.

So as I bide my time, waiting for my ex to come to me with the news, I can't help but wonder if she will find a home here in town to rent, move 30 miles away to where she works (which wouldn't be the worst thing to happen), or move back to Southern Illinois where her husband's family resides (which is the worst thing that can happen).
What makes it worse yet is the face that I was unable to put a "can not move x amount of miles away" judgment on her, giving her Carte blanche to move where she wishes with no consideration for our children's feelings in the matter.

Stay tuned, as I'm sure I will have more to report on this situation.

X-box vs. Wii

I'm hoping the title grabs the attention than just the regular viewers to my blog, (yea, both of you).

I'm wanting some user input of pros and cons on these two game consoles as I am close to upgrading from my ps2.
I as well as my two boys (12 & 14) are interested in both the X-box 360 and the Nintendo Wii.
I've done some research as far as games availability and other tidbits of information, but when it comes to knowing about playability and the likes, well that's something they don't put on their websites.

So I ask you, the blogging/gaming masses to give me your 2 cents worth (yes, in addition to the both of you), and help me formulate a better knowledge base in helping me decide which console to go with.

Thank you in advance!

Try this one on for size............

The other night, I had a rather odd stream of consciousness. But over all, it made sense. Just how it came to be still eludes me.

"Faceoff".
This is the title of a movie starring John Travolta and Nicholas Cage.
The premise is that Travolta, playing some sort of Federal agent, must infiltrate bad guy Cage's 'world' in order to get something to put him away "for good this time".

In order to pull this off, doctors perform a surgical procedure where in they actually swap Travolta's characters face with that of Cages' characters face. (Later in the movie, Cage comes to, acquires Travolta's face, and the fun and merriment ensues.

Now, in the film, all the actors did was try to emulate the characteristics of the actor/character they were disguised as.

Here's my point:wouldn't the movie been a lot better if the producers actually went that extra mile by using green makeup on the actors and they did their scenes, and then in post production digitally added the other actors face on them?
Then we really would have believed that John Travolta really did have Cages face and vice-verse.

Ok, granted that this kind of technology wasn't really introduced until the Ed Norton version of "The Incredible Hulk", but dammit, other movies are being remade so just do another, better version of Face Off!

(ok, maybe not..........but it would have been soooooo much cooler).