Another open letter to the DHS.............

Dear Powers that Be,

First and foremost, I am a single father with two growing boys. Have been for 14 years now.
Recently, in your infinite wisdom, you decided that I was to be forced back onto a health policy that I could not afford, even after providing you with the numbers. Fortunately, my Human Resources person was able to reaffirm my position (even after you rudely chided him for allowing me to drop said policy). But, I didn't get off that easily. I still had to provide/pay for a policy for my 17 year old son, even though he had been on Medicaid for nearly 3 years. Fine. Whatever.

Onto the subject at hand:Food Assistance.

After the prompting of a friend, I decided to "break down" and apply for help feeding my children.
Now, let me just say that I don't live outside of my means...........at least on purpose. By that I mean, sometimes I have no choice but to play "race the check" when paying for utilities, car payment, or something my boys would need, like clothes.
I don't have cable, I'm on a friends phone plan at a HUGE saving, and I'm on the lowest tier of internet only so I can enjoy NetFlix and my boys have something to do when things get slow here.

When I first signed up for the food assistance program, or EBT as you like to refer to it (it does sound better than FAP),I was granted $235/month. This allowed me to keep up on my normal bills while providing meals for my kids. Cool.

Then, my oldest boy turned 18 which in your mind meant that he was able to help provide food for my house, (something that he wasn't required by his mother to do at her house). Seriously? An 18 year old college boy working part time was to put aside his gas money so he could eat at his father's house? This dropped my amount to $60/month.
Brilliant.

Fast forward 11 months. I still have a child under 18, and now my amount has been adjusted to a mere $15/week? That doesn't even equate to a real weekly number! It comes out to $3.461538461538462 .........at this point I must call "bovine feces"......

Why even dole out this paltry amount? I have a friend with a family of five.........FIVE and his amount is $12/week?!

I don't know what system of numbers you are using, but there is a flaw somewhere. Or maybe it's in your attitude.
I can't help but think that if I was a single mother with a revolving uterus I'd be living high on the hog, eating like a queen!
But since I'm a single guy just trying to get by while providing for my kids, and not a single mom living off assistance, I get to enjoy an aerial intercourse by "the system".

So keep your three bucks a week, and I'll just have to go back to macaroni and melted orange crayons.........and the boys will just have to like it...........

But in closing, I'd just like to say, intercourse you, intercourse you, and of course, intercourse you.

Sincerely,
Yet another male statistic