Monday, January 29, 2007

It's ok........I'm still here........

For those of you in my fan base, (both of you), I'm here to let you know that I'm still around.

You see, I'm just not a very good writer. (Haven't we visited this before?)
Over the last month or so, I've had several good topics I could have written about. However, after composing a couple of sentences, I wouldn't know where to go next.
I'd either just get writers' block, or my mind would be on the latest fiasco my ex-wife was creating.

Therein lies the other problem to my writing:my topics will invariably cover some kind of rant about my ex-wife. And why? Because it seems that no matter how hard I try to ignore it and move on, she constantly bombards me with stupidity, selfishness, or just downright meanness.

It's hard to have a life, when your ex seems to have it for you.

For example, I currently bring home $200 a week. This is after my child support and mortgage are taken care of.
While it's hard enough living on that kind of income, (i.e. having any kind of social life, maintaining ones homestead, or having any type of hobby), recently the ex has informed me that both boys will be getting braces.

Now, I'm not against the idea. However, it's come to my attention that my older boy (almost 12) doesn't really need them, according to the dentist. However, the orthodontist says that he would benefit from having them.
Well of COURSE he could benefit from them. YOU(ortho) are a good salesmen and have convinced my ex-wife to get me to spend more money than I have available.

Now, our younger son WILL benefit from them. Currently, he is a little 'Bucky-Beaver'. And when I confront the ex about getting them for one child, her response was, and I quote,"I'm not going to get (child) braces and not (other child). That's just rude!".

Now, some of you can say "just don't pay for them".
Right.
It was hard enough standing up to my ex when she wasn't my ex.
She is all about the control, and not bending, which is exactly what happened to our relationship.

ANYway, most recently, I gave up 4 hours of my weekend time with my kids so they could go to their cousins b-day party.
In understanding the situation, their cousins live a few hours away, and see them only occasionally.
BUT, I was asked about their attending only that morning, and was told it'd only be two hours. PLUS, I could keep the boys two hours longer on Sunday before returning them.
Ok. Fine. Whatever.

They were picked up around 5:30 p. and returned FOUR hours later. Not two. Four.
Twice as much as two hours. Get the point? Let's move on.

Sunday comes around, and she leaves a rather loud message on the machine announcing that she has obtained the elusive Nintendo Wii. (my younger son was sleeping downstairs and I'm surprised her wailing over the phone didn't wake him up).

So great. Now the boys have a reason NOT to want to spend a few extra hours with dear ole dad.
Of course, I can't say 'no' to their excitement and take them back at the regular time.

But come on! She had to have known this is the kind of response she'd get.
"Fuck him out of four hours, and get the boys hopped up on coming home early!".

I am not exagerrating when I say she is the MOTHER of self-sidedness.

So, why am I pissy all the time?
Why can I not get out a decent blog?
How am I supposed to compete with her household having four game consoles, trips to Disney World, cruises, train rides, ect. when I can't even get my kids name brand clothes, not to mention clothes at all?

But............I digress..................

2 comments:

Sunny said...

Dayumm Ray-ray.

Totally understand the Ex-factor of your not blogging- but blogging DOES help the BP- it's really bad for you to hold it all inside.
;-)

Don't have any advice for ya on the $ situation with her- my EX was more into partying with his buds to worry about doing anything for our kids- but all I can say is- insist on your time with them being uninterupted by calls from- visits from- announcements from aforementioned EX. get an answering machine(10 at Family Dollar or Dollar General stores) and hook it up and then turn it DOWN while the kids are there- Check it yourself for incoming messages- screen those suckers - you CAN ignore them if they don't meet YOUR criteria of an emergency. It's YOUR house after all.

God Luck, bro- I feel for ya!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Sunny. Get the answering machine and turn the volume down.

And let me add this, she may have the games and vacation. But you will have the relationship. Do you think they are actually talking to her when the game controller is in their hand? No. Take advantage of what you have to offer them. You have YOURSELF to offer them. Please do not discount the role that you have as an active father in their lives.


Oh, and as for writing in the blog. It’s yours. Use it how you want. As a place to vent or place to be impersonal. Totally up to you. It’s yours.
Just my opinion. Not that you asked or anything. lol