Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Honest question

Ok, so, for my first entry, I figured I'd make it a doozie.

Long story short:I was married w/children, now divorced w/children.
My ex moved 3 states away to be with the man she met online, taking our children.
Five years later, she and her husband (guy from the 'net) moved back here buying a house.

I took her back into the court system under a 'considerable change of circumstances' only to be knocked down by the court system.

Now; I am to begin the first section of my summer time w/my boys.
In the past, she's gotten them a pool pass. This summer, she says she will send the passes (consisting of patches sewn on their swim trunks) IF I contribute to the purchase price.
As I've said, in the past, she's purchased them and sent them with the boys to use during their time w/me.
But, due to her husband losing his job a few months back (even though he has a new one now), she doesn't feel it's fair for her to buy the passes, for them to use during my time unless I give her money.

Why is it, child support never seems to be enough? Even though she enjoys 3 incomes (hers, her husbands, and a substantial portion of mine), she feels it necessesary to play this power struggle?

1 comment:

OzzyC said...

Unfortunately there is no good answer to this one. A few of the people in this world are "givers." Some are "takers." Most of us are a little of both. In this case, I think it's fruitless to ask why this is all happening, and just accept the fact that it's happening. Things have a way of working out in the end.

Those of us who know you realize that your anger, frustration and sense of hopelessness isn't due to the money, it's due to the lack of time with the kids, (though we understand that money is a part of it). The answer is to be patient and to take the high road.

And when I say patient, I mean really patient. It's going to take a very long time -- years, maybe a decade or so -- before the kids will start to understand the role that each of you are playing as parents. And until they come to you, you must remain silent. You must make sure that the kids don't hear any of the bad stuff going on between you and the ex. Because when you do let them hear these things, you cede some of your moral high ground.