Last rant of '05

I've had a subject looming around my head for sometime, but have not had a coherent enough string to be able to post. However, while still not well put together, I wanted to get it out before the new year.

Single Dads:getting the short end of the stick.

As a single Dad, and having friends that are single Dads, I can state with a certain amount of knowledge, that something must be done to gain us better rights when it comes to our children.

More times than none, when it comes to divorce and placement of our children, primary custody is awarded to the mother. It seems that as of late, however, some judges are awarding a shared or 50/50 placement. But, this is a rather new concept and not all judges are willing to go this route, as legislature only suggested this and has not passed down any guidelines for judges to follow.

On that note, single fathers are subjected to a wide variety of pangs from seeing their children being 'fathered' by someone NOT themselves to traveling great distances (if the divorce resulted in one of the parents moving) to see/get their children for a weekend. A move will also result in Dad missing out on a lot of their children's lives from not being able to attend any sport or music program that child may be involved in to just everyday situations a Dad would normally get to enjoy with their child.

Usually, it is the father that is told when they get to see their children (in the form of "visitation", which sometimes will result in the father being considered nothing more than a "big-brother".
We are assigned an amount to be paid to the mother in the form of "child-support", with the mother being given carte blanche in spending said support any way she deems fit.
Sometimes, the money will in fact be spent on the children, with other times the mother is seen with new clothes, cars, freshly done nails and hair on a weekly basis.
On the other side of the coin, the father is left to figure out how to fend for oneself on a partial income.

On a personal note, I have nothing against the idea of child-support. I'd just like to see some accountability on how it's spent to make sure it is going to the child.
But when a father is trying to make ends meet and the mother continues to ask for "extra assistance" in things like going halfsies on something in addition to the child support is a little out of line.

Now, personally, and this may ruffle a few feathers, I feel that with the divorce rates of today which results in creating "step-families", the result on "the big picture" of the world will be the downfall of our economic society. (ok, that was a bit dramatic but I couldn't come up with a feasible statement).

Basically, what I'm getting at is as we get older, more and more Americans are getting married only to end up in divorce.

When there are children involved, they become exposed to "another parent", maybe several in a span (due to the parent dating),and as we all know our children learn from experience, which could mean that in the future all marriage will be done away with from the knowledge that "it won't last anyway".

Children are having someone other than their own parent raise them and are in some cases, being told to respect this person only to have the child retaliate by stating "you aren't my mom/dad!".


We are taking families, breaking them up, and reshaping them at an astounding rate and all I can think of is the effect it has on the children.

Now, I have a good friend that has remarried to a wonderful woman. His children adore her as she does them.
Obviously each situation is different and not all turn out like mine, but overall the results are the same.
Anymore, a child having the same and only two parents for the duration of their upbringing seems to be going the way of the dinosaur.

With that being said, I (hopefully) now retire my angst,ire, and depressions on this subject and look forward to 2006 being a year where I can have a more upbeat outlook on life and postings that will reflect that.