Ever try to push a piece of string?

With the onset of a new year, I am forced to do a little 'self-evaluation' and try to figure out just what the hell has been going on for the past 8 years (if not much much longer).

(a warning:everything seems to come back to my divorce, so bear with me)

Since my divorce (see? told ya), my life has turned in on itself as my attentions have become split between my children, and the internet. Let me explain.
My two boys are the biggest joy in my life. Even though for 3 years after the divorce, they were moved 11 hours away from me, I did not waiver from being their Father. I never wrote them off, walked away, or neglected them (as if I'D been the one that left).
And since their return 6 years ago, my bond with them, especially the younger son, have grown at least to an enjoyable level not being awarded shared placement (even though we now live mere minutes away from each other).

The downfall from my divorce (see?), has become my addiction to the internet.
In the onset, I tried to gain that which my now ex wife did.(a mate), using the internet.
And while in the first two years, I did accomplish something of that, neither situation panned out.

But now, eight years later, my dependence on this infernal contraption has taken over what should have been a socialization of my being.
I'll be the first to admit that I spend way too much time between this site, Friendster, and a certain dating website and while I've been able to reconnect with classmates, and made new friends, the whole experience has torn down what used to be (in friends' ascertains) a really good person.

So what now?
Every New Year's for the past 7, I've told myself that "this year would be different". That I would put myself back out there and meet new people and hopefully find someone special.
One variable I blame my current situation on is where I am, geographically.
Now, while this town is really a good place, provided you are either A)raising a family or 2) being a descendant of a family that pretty much settled this little plot.
If you are an outsider, and a single outsider at that, you may as well call it game over.
And while I live a mere 30 miles from where I grew up (which for me holds more 'stimulus' for me personally) it seems like the distance I shared with my children some 6 years ago.

Now that I'm 40, maybe by some miracle I will tap into some long forgotten inner strength to proceed with the 'second half of my life'.
Or, I just may grow old to be known as the 'crazy guy on the corner that feeds the squirrels'.

Either way, I just know that I have to regain my independence from the internet and return to the 'land of the living'.