Torn

Since my divorce over five years ago, I've been entered, (against my will and better judgement) in a battle over my children. More specifically, how they act towards me when they are with their mother.

To be even more precise, when we attend events the boys are involved in, if they are with her, she does not allow them to come over and say "hi" or get a hug. However, when they are with me, I encourage them to go over and talk to her and/or her husband. This has been going on since the onset.

Her excuse/reason has been, according to the boys, that I didn't allow them to come to her.
Now, I'll admit, perhaps in the first year or so after our divorce, I may have let my negative feelings override my better judgement and probably took the "f*ck her" attitude when I had my boys (not that I don't still feel that way, I just don't act upon it", but I've been more than accomodating when it comes to promoting their going over to her.

One would think, that after five years, and now being in a relationship, she would get over it and quite trying to turn my children against me/keep them from me in petty ways. It's gotten to the point where my oldest son won't even ask because "they'll probably just say no anyway".

I understand that in the end it doesn't even matter and that above all else I need to be the bigger parent here. But that doesn't allieviate the hurt feelings on my part.

Just think about it:to be at an event and have one's own child walk by them without as much as a 'hiya'. Compound that with the feelings one's ex already promotes and WHAMMO. ISSUES.

Sucks.