Always use your brain for good, not evil

Sometimes, you just can't make this stuff up.

During my groups D&D sessions, we can come up with some very entertaining dialogs and situations that make our DM cringe.

One example was when we encountered an Otyugh protecting a horde of treasure in a shallow pool of water. How were we to coax it out to lay claim to this bounty?
After some debate on who would be the bait to draw this beast out, our Rogue remembered he had a grappling hook and length of silken rope,(strong stuff).

In a nutshell, we ended up "fishing for Otyugh" as we hooked the creature, and teamed up to pull it from it's vantage point. Hooray! Gold for everyone!

Probably one of the better instances, created the epitome of all that ends in one holding their head in anguish.

(As read by the DM) "Upon searching the now abandoned castle, you come upon a room that appears to be used for worship. At the other end of this room, you spy a Dais.".

Rogue- "A what?"
DM- "A Dais".
Ranger- "What's a 'Dais'?"
DM- "It's like a raised part leading to an alter. Like small steps"
Cleric- "So why not just tell us it's 'small steps'?"
DM- "That's what it says in the module."
Dwarf- "Wouldn't it just be easier to refer to it in terms we know?"
DM- "Can I continue or what?!"
Group- "Fine."
DM- "You can see something sitting on the Dais."
Rogue- "I check for traps and move closer to see what it is."
DM- "You see that it's a stone with an elaborately carved pattern on it's surface"
Cleric- "So, it's a rock."
DM- "No, it's a stone."
Ranger- "On the Dais?"
DM- "Yes. Upon the Dais."
Dwarf- "A rock, upon the Dais?"
DM- "YES! A ROCK UPON THE DAIS!!"
Group, singing- "On the Dais on the DAIS........On the Dais on the DAIS........"

Sing it with me now!



I have the feeling it'll be a few weeks before our DM has regained any sense of sanity in order to continue our adventure.

*on a personal note, I much prefer the version "Eat me I'm a Danish".